Back-to-School Anxiety: When Is It Normal and When Should You Seek Help?

The return to school can bring mixed emotions for children. After several weeks away from the classroom, it is completely normal for some children to feel nervous about going back.

They may worry about a new teacher, seeing friends, starting a new school or simply getting used to a different routine again.

For some children, these worries settle once they are back into the rhythm of school. For others, anxiety can feel much more overwhelming and may begin to affect sleep, eating, friendships or their ability to attend school.

So how can you tell the difference between normal back-to-school nerves and anxiety that may need more support?

Why can going back to school feel difficult?

Returning to school involves a lot of change in a short space of time.

Children may be adjusting to:

• Earlier mornings and a new sleep routine
• A new teacher or classroom
• New classmates or changes in friendships
• Increased academic expectations
• Busy or noisy environments
• Separation from parents or carers
• Changes to after-school activities and family routines

For children who find change, uncertainty or busy environments particularly difficult, the transition can feel especially challenging.

What does normal back-to-school anxiety look like?

It is common for children to have some worries before returning to school.

They might say they do not want to go, complain of a tummy ache on the morning of school, have trouble settling to sleep or become more emotional than usual.

These feelings often improve once the school routine becomes familiar again.

Reassurance, preparation and a predictable routine can make the transition easier.

It can help to talk about school in a calm way, rather than repeatedly asking your child whether they are worried. Give them opportunities to talk about what is on their mind and focus on practical things they can expect when they return.

When might anxiety be more than normal nerves?

Anxiety becomes more concerning when it is persistent, severe or begins to interfere with your child's everyday life.

You may notice that your child:

• Frequently refuses or struggles to attend school
• Becomes extremely distressed before school
• Has regular headaches or tummy aches without an obvious physical cause
• Has difficulty sleeping because of worries about school
• Becomes very withdrawn or stops enjoying activities they normally like
• Is frequently tearful or irritable
• Becomes increasingly worried about friendships or social situations
• Has panic symptoms or appears overwhelmed
• Experiences anxiety that continues well beyond the first few days or weeks of term

These signs do not necessarily mean that your child has an anxiety disorder. However, they are worth discussing with your child's school and, if you are concerned, with your GP or paediatrician.

What can parents do to help?

There are several things you can do to help your child feel more prepared.

Talk about their worries

Give your child an opportunity to tell you what they are worried about without immediately trying to solve the problem.

Sometimes understanding exactly what is causing the worry can make it easier to work out what support they need.

Re-establish routines

A few days before school starts, gradually return to school-time bedtimes and wake-up times.

A predictable morning routine can also help reduce the pressure of getting ready for school.

Prepare for the first day

If your child is particularly anxious about the practical aspects of returning to school, talk through what will happen.

You could remind them who will take them to school, where they will go when they arrive and what they can expect during the day.

For younger children, having their uniform, bag and other essentials ready the night before can make the morning feel more manageable.

Speak to the school

If your child is particularly worried, speak to their teacher or SENCO.

The school may be able to make small adjustments to help your child settle back into the routine.

It is also important to let the school know if anxiety is affecting your child's attendance or wellbeing.

What if my child is struggling to attend school? 

School refusal can be very distressing for both children and parents.

It is important to understand what is behind the difficulty rather than simply viewing it as a behaviour problem.

There may be anxiety about separation, friendships, bullying, learning, sensory difficulties or another aspect of school life.

If your child is regularly refusing to attend school or becoming extremely distressed about going, speak to the school and seek professional advice.

The earlier the underlying problem is identified, the sooner appropriate support can be put in place.

Could anxiety be linked to another developmental difficulty?

Sometimes anxiety around school can be associated with other difficulties.

For example, children with autism or ADHD may find changes in routine, sensory environments, social situations or the demands of the classroom particularly challenging.

This does not mean that every anxious child has an underlying developmental condition. However, if you have noticed a wider pattern of difficulties with communication, attention, social interaction, behaviour or sensory processing, it may be worth discussing these concerns with a healthcare professional.

When should I seek professional help?

You do not need to wait until your child's anxiety becomes severe before asking for help.

Consider speaking to your GP, paediatrician or another appropriate professional if your child's anxiety:

• Is persistent or getting worse
• Is affecting school attendance
• Is interfering with sleep or eating
• Is affecting friendships or family life
• Is preventing them from taking part in activities they normally enjoy
• Is causing significant physical symptoms
• Is causing you or your child significant distress

A paediatrician can look at your child's physical and emotional wellbeing and help determine whether further assessment or support would be helpful.

Supporting your child through the school year

Some anxiety around returning to school is a normal part of a big transition. For many children, the worries ease once they are back into their routine and know what to expect.

If your child's anxiety is persistent or begins to affect their wellbeing or ability to attend school, it is important to take their concerns seriously.

With the right support, children can develop strategies to manage anxiety and feel more confident about school.

Support from Childhealthy

At Childhealthy, our paediatric team can help families understand concerns around anxiety, behaviour, development and school.

We can provide an assessment of your child's wider health and wellbeing and, where appropriate, help you understand what further support may be useful.

If you are concerned about your child's anxiety as they return to school, please contact our team.

Additional resources

• NHS: Anxiety in children
• NHS: Mental health services for children and young people

 

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for educational purposes only and should not replace medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional for personalised guidance and treatment recommendations.